I Believe BJ’s Is Killing It’s Members

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I drive my kids into daycare every morning and every morning I have to drive through the BJ’s parking lot to get to the daycare.  As I pass through, I always have to pause for critters to cross in front of my car on their way into the store.  None of whom look human.  These things that shop at this BJ’s are like zombies.  I totally took a people of Wal-Mart photo and put it here.  Same thing.

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The store opens at 9am, but even if I’m dropping my kids off at 8am, there are a couple of them just waiting in their scooters, sitting out in front of the metal security gate.  What the hell is in there that is so important to be there at 8am?  I’ve asked myself if it’s just the time of day, but it’s not.  If I have to stop by in the afternoon, it’s just more masses of shifting skin creatures hobbling their way in and out of this building.

I wish this could just be another rant about how “nobody needs 16 cases of toothpaste in one purchase” or “I guess you just buy toilet paper one time, ever”, but it’s not.  None of them can move at a decent pace and they aren’t all elderly or overweight either.   They have enslaved themselves in getting their annual membership’s worth of crap and feel obligated to return week after week to justify this “club” they belong to.

Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but as improvisers we task each other to pay attention to the behavior of others in order to understand the motivation or character of others.  Pretty much everyone is a member of one of these clubs and I’m sure you all are totally normal, but I dare ask if you really need something from Sam’s Club or if the allure of a 30 pound bag of pistachios is more novelty than necessity.  And Yes, I have purchased said bag of pistachios and let me tell you that after about 2 pounds of opening nuts, the last 28 pounds seems to sit in the garage.

Of course, this comes from a person that has the Wendy’s app on his phone and a Chipotle locator that dings when I’m within 500 feet of one so just understand the source this article came from.  Happy Shopping!

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