Your Word, Our Writing – Quickie – Mike Barbieri

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Thank you Mike Barbieri for the word.  If you don’t know why we are writing about Shenanigans, we asked our Facebook fans to suggest some words for us to write about.  Here you go!  Also, congratulations on the two free tickets!
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Quickie as defined by the Urban Dictionary.  “For those who don’t know, “quickie” is the term given to a sexual romp that is exactly that – quick. It is to the point, exciting and usually quite intense. And it is often more animalistic and lust-driven than regular “romantic” sex. “

The thing is most people don’t know the real story behind this term for fast love-making has it origins in a very violent period of time where a roving band of barbarians terrorized the countryside in the middle of Europe’s middle parts.

During the times of Vikings and Visigoths there was a little known band of barbarians made up entirely of female warriors.  In their ancient tongue the called themselves Kwickezze, which roughly translates to “Fast like the wind that destroys the world and takes what it wants from weak men.”

This tribe of about ninety women devastated farms and villages for many years.  The reason they are vaguely remembered in a sexual term is the unique way they raided the towns.  The Kwickezze women raided a village so fast that most of the townsfolk barely had time to move let alone defend themselves from the onslaught.  The Kwickezze would break in the doors with their giant boots made out of bull skulls, and steal meat, cheese, and small sturdy female children to supplement their ranks.  There is very little written of them in history since they were so brutally efficient that no one ever survived their raids to tell about it.  They only left one clue at every town.  They would paint with the blood of the fallen the words “Girls Rule!” on the side of the largest building in the settlement.

Eventually a nearby kingdom heard of the tales of these warrior women and the queen of the land started a very early version of women’s suffrage.  Needless to say after the king had to execute 90% of the female population,  he was a little ticked off.  He sent his army of knights into the woods to hunt down and destroy the Kwickezze.  To this day there are stories that when you enter those woods, you can still hear the ghosts of the knights saying “Whoa those are some hot barbarians.  Dude, I dare you to talk to the blonde one.  She’s totally checking you out.”

So now anytime you go to have a Quickie, you can think about an army of bloodthirsty vicious women marauding through your city coming to cut out your hearts and steal your daughters.

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