Miami Heat Fan Upgrades Bandwagon

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Bruce Toolback is really excited about the Heat becoming world champions a third time.  “I hopped onto the ‘ole bandwagon today and realized that it was only built to last a year or two.  I had to upgrade.” Toolback is no rookie when it comes to wagon ownership.  “I first hopped into the Marlins Cart in 2003, but I immediately traded it in for a Red Sox Caw.  Wicked good that was.”

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When asked if he got in on the “Shaq Heat” of 2006, Toolback scoffed: “You really think I could be a legitimate bandwagon owner if I drove a 2006 before owning the 2012?  The model years are too close together.  I wouldn’t be a true wagoneer.”

Bruce is nervous that his upgrade may make people think that he’s in this for the long run, but he simply says “I’ll drive this in a ditch and act like I never owned it if I have to.”  While researching some background on Toolback, Sick Puppies Comedy did in fact find that he was accused of owning a 1996 Chicago Bulls Wagon and a 2000  XFL wagon.  He, of course denies all of it.  Dick.

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