Rowling Knocks Hermione/Ron pairing; God Disagrees

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In a recent interview with Emma Watson, J.K. Rowling stated that she wished she hadn’t put Hermione and Ron in a relationship, stating, “I wrote the Hermione/Ron relationship as a form of wish fulfillment.”

When asked to comment, God flew straight down to Earth, crash-landing in the Sick Puppies office.*

He said, “What the flying f***? No. No. Hell no. That ain’t how s*** goes. That ain’t right. That’s some real s***. What? ‘Scuse me? I created y’all, and you’ve only done one thing right in roughly ten thousand years. Nope, it’s not The Parthenon! It’s the Harry Potter series. But now y’all are threatening that! Well all I have to say is, ‘Nope’. This is my reality and you all are just living in it.”

He proceeded to run off and create a new universe that was the exact same as this one — with one minor exception. In the new universe, J. K. Rowling never talked smack about the Ron/Hermione relationship.

In other news, Friedrich Nietzsche is an awful reporter. God is very much still alive.

*Yeah, we totally have an office. 😉


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