The Illuminati’s Real. Need Proof? I Don’t Have it. But I Do Have Anagrams.

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Illuminati-Star

 Of course The Illuminati is Real

If you learn nothing else from this totally *educational* comedy blog, learn this: The Illuminati is 100% irrefutably real.

Need proof?

People pretend to like Taylor Swift.

White chocolate covered Oreos are only available one month out of the year.

FIREFLY was CANCELLED.

Could you really explain this madness with anything other than an evil, domineering, world-spanning conspiracy?*

If none of this satisfies you, I’ve got more proof.

Using the secret ancient art of anagramming, I’ve set out to prove the Illuminati’s existence by showing the hidden messages contained within the names of a variety of the world’s most famous celebrities.**

Samuel L Jackson

Samuel L Jackson

Lone Sock

Nasal Joy

Yo, Lemur!

Britney Spears

Britney Spears

Yeti Sap

Bear Tie

My whole life is just one big cry for help.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch

Ben Hur

Ben Him

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga

Gay lad

Gay Gala

Gay

Gay!

G to the A to the Y

ya gay?***

Sarah Jessica Parker

SarahJessicaParkerHorse

I am a horse.

* I mean, maybe it was aliens. MAYBE.

** No, I didn’t use every letter in every celebrity’s name. Yes, these aren’t hardcore anagrams. No, I don’t care.

*** For those out there going, “That’s mildly homophobic,” I can only say, “I’m gay! I have the gay card! I can make fun of gay people as much as I want. For instance, “Andy Cohen.” That’s it. That’s the gay joke.”

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