Fanfic Theater: Benjumin Franklin and Jon Adams in Lov

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BenFranklinxJohnAdams

We here at the Sick Puppies Blog strive to keep up with the fast-paced maelstrom that some like to call “The Internet.” As such, we’ve decided to plumb the depths of “The Internet,” in an attempt to find some of the movers and shakers of the 20th century, who will forever change our paradigm.

Instead, we found some really awful fan fiction, which we’ve decided to present here. We TOTALLY didn’t write it ourselves. *wink* This is TOTALLY real *wink* and not at ALL made up for the sake of comedy. *wink wink wink*

So, without further ado, we present for you this “Fanfic Theater.”

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Benjumin Franklin looked at Jon Adams, whose strands of soft white hair fell to his shoulders as if they were strands of soft white hair.

“John,” Benjumin said, a single tear stuck to his cheek, “I’m pregnunt with the child that we had because we’re loverz.”

“Wat?” John Adams said, “No,” he continued, “No,” he said again, “No,” he said a third time, “No,” he said another time.

“No,” he whispered.

“Hold me,” Benjumin said, “i’m not ready to own a child.”

“Me 2,” Jon Adams said, leaning in close and holding Benjumin in his warm tinder embrase.

“Kiss me,” Benjumin said, “Kiss me like we’re two forbidden gay lovers in the 18th centory,” Benjumin said.

“Which we are,” John Adams said. They laughed, laughily.

They kissed, like the band KISS.

And then, they…

[EXPLICIT CONTENT REMOVED FROM THE SICK PUPPIES BLOG]

“That wus beautiful,” Benjumin said, “Again.”

[EXPLICIT CONTENT REMOVED FROM THE SICK PUPPIES BLOG]

“A little to the left,” Jon Adams screeched.

[EXPLICIT CONTENT REMOVED FROM THE SICK PUPPIES BLOG]

“Wow,” Benjumin said, “Wow.”

FIN

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