Never tell a Woman that she’s “One of the Guys”

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When a man says “You’re just like one of the guys” to a woman, there’s a bit of miscommunication that goes on.  I’ll break it down.
ladiesbelike
What a man thinks he’s saying:
“Hey, you’re my buddy.  You rock!  I can hang out with you, and I don’t have to listen to stories about shopping, or nail salons.  We watch football, play video games, and drink beers. Badass.  Coolest thing ever.  And I wanted you to know, I really appreciate your comradery. You’re one of my favorite people.”

What woman get from it:
“You’re unattractive.  So unattractive in fact, that I forget you’re female.  I mean, in a crowd of men, you blend right in.  You put no effort or care into your looks.  You smell funny, like a guy.  Or even worse but I’ll lump you in anyways.  Unless there was a baby inside you right now, it’s hard to believe you even produce estrogen.  You may even have a mustache you wax.  I mean if you took of your clothes right now, and you didn’t have a penis, I’d fall over backwards in shock.”

Men, let’s take a moment to brainstorm alternatives.  This way you’ll be prepared when your man brain runs aground in foreign waters.

“You’re so awesome, I wish I could hang out with you AND my wife every day.”
-This lets your friend now how much you care about them, while reminding them you have a binding contract that prevents you from being interested in coitus.

“…”
-Saying nothing and staring at your friend with dull, lifeless, cavemen eyes will get across the message of primal friendship that simple words cannot express.

“You’re like my sister.”
-This lets her know that you suspect your families could be traced back to similar origins, thus any coupling may cause serious genetic abnormalities.

“In another life/In another time/If I were younger/etc”
-All of these imply that your friendship and lack of more is merely destiny.  Perhaps in a future life or  alternate dimension, you were destined to be together.  In this one, no way in hell.

Basically guys, as impressive at you think it is that you can have a female friend without feeling the need to “be all up on her”, keep it to yourself.
It’s much more impressive that your woman friend doesn’t start making chimp noises every 5 seconds to try to communicate with you in your native tongue.
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If you like what you read, click here for more.  If you don’t want to click here, we’re not friends anymore.  Just kidding, I don’t have alot of friends.  Please don’t leave me.  I’m going to die alone…
http://sickpuppiescomedy.wordpress.com/author/tonysrivera/

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