Local Man Confused Why Saying F*** Got Him Fired

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Boca Raton, FL – Mark Deluser, an elementary school teacher was released this week after referring to his students as bunch of a F*** nuggets.  “It’s apparent that my right to free speech was denied to me today” claimed Deluser; “I’ll likely take to the internet and write 3,800 words accusing the principal of spending over 40 hours a week with minors.”

Deluser got the idea after a former NFL sub par kicker released his diary this week to the internet containing hearsay and other unproven claims in hopes that he wouldn’t have to go find a real job.  “I just figure if a kicker can get that much support with slander, so can a teacher.  Free speech.  I learned everything I need to about the Constitution from Duck Dynasty.  I mean, it’s a Dynasty.”

When questioned about his actual performance as a teacher, especially regarding the number of fifth graders testing at an Alabama level of reading, Deluser ended the interview by saying “I have the right to speak or not to speak. Amen.”


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