Pope And Cliffs Notes To Tackle Bible

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Reports are coming in that Pope Francis is working with Cliffs Notes on a shorter version of the bible.

“Have you seen the thing? It’s just massive. It reads like it was written by 12 different people and edited over the course of hundreds of years. It could use a clean up.” Said a spokesperson for the popular publishing house.

The study guide pros are planning to cut the book down from its’ original 1900 pages to a solid 25. “You should still be able to get the jist.” the spokesperson said.

It’s no secret the Pope has been looking for ways to bring people back to Catholicism and make it easier to be a Catholic. This book plan is just one of many methods soon to be implemented including Twurch; the First Church to Tweet an entire Mass.

“I am excited for the new book. I want everyone to be able to say “I read the bible cover to cover” and not be lying when they say it.”, the Pope said in an interview with GQ earlier this month.

The Cliffs Notes version will have everything from the New Testament and a separate book will be made for the Old Testament. “Two books just makes sense for marketing purposes” , said the Pope.

One of the methods being used to write the book is context blending. A method developed by Cliffs Notes specifically for this project. “With context blending we can tell multiple stories at once and get the same info across to the reader. For instance in chapter 2 we have Adam and Eve, Cain and Able, and the Prodigal son all in one story and it runs just over 2 paragraphs long. It’s very exciting.”

Cliffs Notes plans to release the Bible in early 2014 with a King James version set for 4th quarter.


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