Measuring Time as a Parent

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  1. Just a Minute: Never a minute.  Usually not even a measure of time.  This is said in hopes that you can stop your child from attempting whatever he just asked he could do. “Can I cut up my own dinner?” —– JUST A MINUTE
  2. Maybe Tomorrow: Maybe you’ll forget by then
  3. 5 minutes: Something is going to happen in five minutes.  Either bedtime, ending playtime, dinner time or some other life altering event like this.  If the 5 minute buffer is not announced, absolute mayhem will erupt.  I personally find 5 minutes to last for 30 seconds or a half hour, without exception.
  4. Right Now: 5 seconds ago.  High likelihood this was said at a high decibel.
  5. When you Wake Up: This is a trick.  Everyone knows this one.
  6. In One Hour: In 3 hours, but the first two and a half hours will be spent herding.
  7. This is the Last Time: If you do not have this in your vocabulary, you will be stuck throwing your child in the air for eternity.

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