Anti-Jokes and Anti-Matter. What’s The Difference? Other Than the Destruction of the Universe

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Anti-Matter

You know what I like more than making people laugh? I like the fear in their eyes, the unblinking terror in their eyes when they realize you’re a terrible person. So, in a Grinch-esque anti-Christmas anti-humor spirit, here are some anti-jokes for you to (not) enjoy.

1. A guy walks into a bar. What does he say?

I’m an alcoholic.

2. What do you call a white guy in blackface?

[his name], the racist

3. Why did the dolphin jump out of the water?

Because BP f***ed up again.

4. What did the yam farmer say to his wife, when she asked why he didn’t put any vegetables in their soup?

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a yam.

(That wasn’t an anti-joke. I just wanted to make sure you guys were paying attention.)

5. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The KGB. You’re under arrest for jokes.

6. Why didn’t Batman save the city?

He’s a fictional character. Are you feeling okay?

7. What’s worse than a worm in your apple?

Starvation. Just eat the dang apple.

8. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I haven’t murdered you and your whole family?

I mean, I guess…

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