Boca Raton, FL – On Tuesday, a terrier by the name of Freckles filed for divorce from his owner, Jason Macklemore. The registered complaint cites that Freckles was only allowed to deficate outdoors and subject to public humiliation while doing so. Furthermore, he was only served meals on the floor and only twice a day. When interviewed, he said “I have rights too. I keep guard of the Macklemore household. Everyday, a man arrives with brown packages and if it wasn’t for me, he would break in.”
Sick Puppies news has done the research to see if its legally possible for a canine to file any type of court document and found that Governor Rick Scott had recently put into law a gun law that accidentally allowed animals to be treated as citizens while outlawing the consumption of vitamins.
Macklemore had little to say about the matter other than “my dog can talk”?