Unknown Baseball Player Admits to Never using Steroids

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Who is this? Who Cares?

Joey Smith played baseball almost his entire life.  He learned to love the sport and eventually grew his skills to make it all the way to college on a full ride scholarship.  “I was told by all of my coaches that hard work and persistence and performance enhancing drugs would make me one of the best  the country has ever seen”.  Smith told his coaches he would follow their advice, but it turns out, Smith was a liar.  A dirty, disgusting liar.  “I told them I would shoot the steroids, but I was afraid of needles, so I pricked myself with a thumbtack instead. To this day, I regret lying to my team and realize that the only way to make in life is to cheat just like everyone else.”

Today, Smith works for the NSA, but is planning on starting his own business of selling private information.

SPC

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